embracing mommyness (for today)

it’s a bright monday morning.  mid-june. our pantry is void of coffee beans.  i refuse to drink decaf in the morning.  toddlergirl and i each slip into our pink flipflops and head out the door to the nearest largest retail coffee chain (hint: they wear green aprons.  and if they’re really good baristas- they wear black aprons).  i admit that i’m usually a drive-thru gal (slap on hands for idling my car).  but come on!  i have places to go and dirty diapers to change and costco lists to complete- i truly am a suburbanite. 

today is different though.  it may be that the sun has finally made an appearance and with it the casualness of summer has arrived.  we park the car and go in to the coffee shop.  toddlergirl likes her hot cocoa.  i am deliriously happy with an americano.  we go all out and order a ginger cookie as well.  i stake out the place.  there are two distinct “districts” happening.  there is the business people district:  laptops open, papers shifting, cellphones placed trophy-esque on the corner of the table.  and clear on the other side of the coffee shop is the parenthood district: sippy cups, diaper bags, crayons, and soothers readily placed right beside our cellphones.  our cellphones are no longer for the business of work.  they are used for the work of busyness. 

we sit.  we sip.  i remind toddlergirl to “sit on her bum”.  i remind toddlergirl to “be careful.”  i remind toddlergirl again to “sit on her bum.”  she wants to turn around and observe the mom and two little girls sitting behind us.  the little girl at that table informs her mom that she needs to go potty.  the mom gives a small sigh.  i know what she’s thinking.  really?  now?  but consistency is the glue of parenting and that is what i am learning.  so if little girl needs to go, well- consistency.

the mom stands up and turns around to take her to the washroom.  our eyes meet.  i am already offering to keep an eye on her table and her bag.  before i even get my full sentence out, she asks if she can leave the 8 month old baby (who is happy and in her carseat) with us as well.  “sure,” i say and kind of shrug my shoulders and smile. 

the mom comes back and thanks us.  the little girl is protective of her little sister and reminds toddlergirl that the baby is “her” baby.  we turn our chairs and begin to chat.  we become friends.  we exchange cards with emails and phone numbers. 

as i pulled away from the coffe shop in my car i began to think…

is this… the mommy pick-up?  we get along.  we have similar tastes in clothing, children’s names, photography, handbags, and we were even both wearing the same nailpolish color.  she seems to have similar parenting styles to me and we both have moved to the outskirts of the “big city” within the last year.

is this how it works?  i admit that it’s taken me a long while to get used to being comfortable even being a “mom.”  at times i would prefer to be sitting on the other side of the coffee shop in the business district- wearing a crisp white blouse (with no worries of coffee spilling on it) and dress pants and making phone calls to clients. 

i feel like i am standing in the middle of that coffee shop.  somedays i want to be on the mommy side and other days on the business side.  is is possible to really have them both right now and to handle both well?  i know it’s not impossible, but what will give? 

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today is a rainy thursday and i am embracing the mommy side.  we had a playdate this morning that involved eating peanut butter cookies and dancing to jitterbug music.  yesterday was the business side that involved scouting out wedding shoot locations and touring a golf course. 

for now i’ve decided that switching hats is alright.  today it’s yoga pants and no makeup and glasses.  and macaroni and cheese for lunch.  and i’m okay with that.

to better things,

steph